Sept 25, 2007
My cousin Jo Anne came in from out of town, and it was good to see her, and brought back some memories.
We were not close in age , she being about 5 years younger, but we had an affinity for each other which bonded us together by way of parenting skills, or lack thereof .
Her mother, my aunt Jo, had eccentric personality tendencies, and my dad, her Uncle Tony, was a self annointed pundit, who meted out his opinions, and judgements, in an abrasive manner, just this side of being a tyrant.
With his own son, moi, I was able to witness first hand his mannerisms, and become affected by them, as well as Jo Anne witnessed her mothers foibles.
So therin, I perceived this odd way were were raised, though unspoken, bonded us together,
We met with her brother, cousin Pat, his wife, my brother Bob, and sister in law Sandi
The night before our meeting I remembered , The Way We Were, so to speak, and got a little depressed and introspective. My brother Bob, 6 years my senior, my hero & role model growing up, sat across the table very thin, but upbeat and cheerful, despite suffering the effects of a stroke a few years before , with his cane parked next to his chair, and my sister-in-law with her fold away wheeled walker nearby, also cheerily discussing their new life at the retirement community, where they now live.
Cousin Pat was almost like a brother to me, growing up, and being 2 years older, we were almost peers, at the playground, and close to equal in baseball, footballl, and other rites of passage experiences involving our favorite pastimes which had the subject of girls, very high on the to do, or trying to figure out, list
He looked very healthy a virile for a 74 year old guy, who aged really well. About 5 years ago he was diagnosed with a form of dementia, which is hardly noticeable, in a short visit, other than him repeating anecdotes.
His wife Paula is a strong beautiful person, who is by his side constantly, watchful and attentive, and wary of him wandering out of sight, and becoming lost.
Jo Annes dad, my Uncle Al, is now 93 years old, and unfortunately didnt join us, because after visiting with an elder care attorney, which was the purpose, of the visit, became tired, and opted out, and asked to be returned to his
elder care type hotel, which is not assisted living. The place he now resides requires that older folks, who need constant medical attention, are not eligable for admittance. He still gets around relatively well, found himself a girlfriend there, and seems quite content.
Growing up, I always admired him, and tried to emulate his upbeat mannerisms, and realized his intelligence was a trait, that was worth having, and made me determined to work hard to become learned.
I remembered that when I was a kid, when I visited, he had a stack of crossword puzzles, all solved, printed neatly in pencil, wrapped neatly and saved. with a rubber band, that he would cut every day from the newspaper. He had many such bundles, which fascinated me, and made me wonder why he seemed to enjoy doing that , which prompted me to begin trying to solve those puzzles myself. What a fantanstic gift this was to me. What a great way to improve ones vocabulary, as well as feeling the satisfaction of sometimes at first, and even today, on those damn tough New York Times Sundasy puzzle, just completing a small section, that ties itself together
Jo Anne is a beautiful, vibrant, confident person, who was in the company of her friend Heinz, who accompanied her on this trip. Heinze is a very likeable, soft spoken, unpretentious kind of guy, who stays quietly in the background, but always ready and willing to help others.
Lord knows he was at the right table for that service.
Which brings me back to the Night Before this luncheon meeting
Remembering tossing the football, and baseball, with my brother and cousin, all the street games, kick the can,hide and seek, getting home before dark, the interactions with this particular group and our families, can make one feel saddened and yet grateful, for being in the mix of this company, so to speak.
I was hoping I would not have to steel myself for drawing these introspective comparisons to such a degree that I would become kinda choked up, about this meeting,. But in the light of day, and in real life, despite this marching of time,it was a time of hugs, handshakes, and happy faces, and rejoicing.